We call it "Remember Time". At bedtime, after books & songs, whoever is reading to Morgan will take a few minutes to remember all the great things she did that day. We'll say, "I remember when....you shared that toy with Tyler." Or, "I remember when...you got your jammies on and I didn't even have to ask you!" Trying, of course, to focus on the positive things she did all day. We do it mostly with her because she seems to be the right age that it really works with. But then again, the other night, Nicole snuggled up with me and asked if she and I could have "Remember Time"! I can't believe we ever stopped doing this with her!! It has been amazing to see how the both behave when they know we're watching! I recently read a quote in Christlike Parenting that I really like. It says:
"Children are like nails. When they are bent out of shape, a pat on the back will straighten them out better than a thump on the head."
I think that this has been so great with Morgan because throughout the day, I'm noticing things that we can use for that night. I'm focusing more on the things that she is doing well rather than criticizing her when she's not behaving well. It also works if she's being stubborn (which is rare for her, thank heavens) and I can say, "Oh, I won't be able to remember this for Remember Time!" and she quickly changes her mood! It's wonderful! I wonder if Tyler is old enough to do this with? I need all the help I can get with him. :o)
So, as per Kristeen's request, there ya have it. Take from it what you will....
13 comments:
You have a much better name for it than we do. When Dallin was little he liked me to tell him bedtime stories. I didn't know too many stories by heart, so I started making up stories with popular characters like Pikachu. However, "Pikachu" always did the same things that Dallin had done that day. It became a tradition for Dallin to ask for a "Pikachu Story" reviewing the day. He often had to stop and correct me or add things that I had forgotten, or not found significant enough to add to the story. Sadly, I've not done this with any of my other kids. "The Three Bears" seemed to be good enouch.
Thanks for the great suggestion! I've been trying to think of something simple that I can do at bedtime to help calm the kids down and close the day. With 4 kids of such different ages, I was having a hard time thinking of something that would work for all of them. I think this will be perfect!
You are such an awesome mom! Keep up the good work and thanks for the idea, it came just in time!
That's a great idea! L has nightmares and her pedi said we should discuss the fun stuff of the day, but this covers that and might help with behavior. Thanks for sharing!
I love the quote Sis! I needed to read that tonight! I am going to do this with my teenagers in a little more subtle way...but they need a lot less "thumps" in their lives too! Love Ya.
I love it!! I need to start using it again, I did for a while when you first told me about it then ya get hurried and forget the most important and meaningful things!! Thanks for the reminder!! :)
Great idea- I'm going to have to try it! Thanks for the quote too.
You know Tara, that one of my most CERTAIN "Doctrines" that I have taught in 35years of counseling is, "WHAT WE FOCUS ON-EXPANDS"! "True 'doctrine, understood, changes behavior faster than the changing of behavior." (Elder Packer)
Great idea, Tara, thanks for sharing. I am going to start doing this with my kiddos.
I really like that! I always appreciate, so much, hearing helpful tips like that! I will definitely have "remember time" with my girls tonight! Thanks, Tara. =)
What a terrific idea. Wish I'd known about this when my boys were little!
Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I have tried it since we talked, and I have found that I have a lot more patience than I think I do--and my children need the positive attention so much! You are a terrific mom, a great friend and example to me!
That is such a cute idea! You're really a great mom.
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